Songwriter, author and speaker Isabella shares excerpts from her book The Ministry of Wifehood. While stating that utmost respect to their husbands is the major way to show love, the UK based singer shares priceless advice with young wives, stating common mistakes made and how to avoid them.
“A few years ago, a lady came to me for counsel as she was struggling in her young marriage. They had been married for a couple of years, but could not communicate without fighting.
Within an hour of speaking with the lady, I identified what I suspected was a HUGE issue in their marriage: she had little if any respect for her husband. During our first conversation, she referred to him as “that bush man” and “this man” severally. Straightaway I told her without mincing words “if this is how you feel towards and speak to/about your husband, this problem will not go away. You need to fix your attitude.”
Many times people are advised to pray about issues that an attitude change can resolve. Whilst prayer should be the foundation, there is work to be done after praying.
Life is seldom as simple as an attitude fix being the solution to every problem, however, the most fundamental way a wife can show her love for her husband is by respecting him. Respect is demonstrated by what you do/say to him/about him, and how you do or say it, irrespective of where, when and with whom you do/say it.
The quickest and easiest way to lose access to his heart is to consistently disrespect him privately and publicly. Publicly is a NO NO. When a wife publicly tramples on her man’s ego, she is toeing a very treacherous path.
Wife, the way your friends, family members and children view and treat your husband is heavily hinged on their perception of how you treat him. If you treat him like trash, they will treat him like trash. If you treat him like a king, you’re delivering a clear message too.
Of course husbands have grave responsibilities in a marriage but my focus is on the wife. Wife, please understand that great power lies in your femininity. Going at your man in a combative mode with daggers drawn weakens your position in your relationship.
Fighting fire with fire will burn the house down. Just like a prayer-less woman is a powerless woman, a disrespectful wife is a dis-empowered wife. A wife who disrespects her husband diminishes her level of influence in his life.”
Excerpts from “The Ministry of Wifehood”
