Mirror Mirror…
Mirror on the wall. Who’s the fairest of them all?
I logged into my instagram account few days ago with the sole aim of snooping around people’s profiles and liking pictures that catches my eyes. I hadn’t gone really far with my mission when I stumbled on an estranged friend’s account. I was suddenly taken aback. Dry throat. Dumbfounded. Numb. And confused with a pint of regret rearing its head (I still don’t know what and why I was regretting anything).
When I was in the university we had plans. Huge ones. To be better than the best. We had dreams, desires, wishes, hopes among other things. We had differences. We fought. Settled. Laughed. Gossiped. Cooked. Everything. We were not friends anymore. Brothers, brothers we had become…
His name? Let’s call him Lanre. Soon after we finished or final exams, we found out that some scripts had gone missing which made us have an extra year on campus. He left to pursue his dreams, I stayed back to complete the extra year. He’s done well for himself and I am glad He did. And I felt this twinge of Envy (a good one… whatever that means)
I almost reached out immediately. He was everything we talked, dreamed about while in school. The Places. The People (the seemingly right People), the car(s), the House, The hangouts with celebrities, designer clothes, shoes and accessories, the good food… The Good Life.
All this made me yearn for his friendship again. For him to “show” me the way because I looked at myself and didn’t like where I was. I was sort of the opposite of everything he is. The clothes (not that I wear rags, or that I don’t dress well either), the car (I drive my Mother’s beat-up car), the food (Restaurants and 5 star hotel treatments, I haven’t really experienced it. Not even been to that Fancy Ice-cream outlet on Toyin Street… what’s the name again??? Cold som’n som’n?) Okay… I wasn’t enjoying/living the life. I loathed myself. I wasn’t anywhere near my dreams.
I began to think of how I’ll compose my message to him. The plans and strategies that will get him to “show me the way”. I thought… I didn’t want to come off as somewhat eager to get on the fast lane. Nothing came to mind. I was beginning to get upset because I’m a writer and I couldn’t get a sentence out from under my fingers. Ugh! I was getting cranky and seriously peeved. I was scowling at everything and everyone, even my pen. Oh boy. I was losing it.
At that moment, God’s WORD wasn’t appealing anymore. I blocked Him (God) out totally (as if I really could). I forgot all his promises and everything He has done for me. I was about dumping God for the “LIFE”. I was an ingrate.
“YOU HAVE ME… KISHI. I AM EVERYTHING YOU NEED”.
I knew that voice. I knew what He meant. I knew what He wanted of me. The Holy Spirit.
The anger was still there but it was melting away at the whisper and re-assurance of his words. It finally melted away and I knew I hurt God’s feelings. Lanre and I parted ways because light and darkness can never be in the same place (I’m not calling Lanre “Darkness” out of spite. But because he isn’t a Christian and has never really shared my Christian beliefs) and God needed to prune me and make the Vine with good, delicious fruits out of me. I asked for forgiveness on the spot.
I opened up about my thoughts and the struggle to two of my friends. Both were of the opinion that it was childish of me to want to dump God for man. One of them gave me something to hold on to. He said “Your Salvation (good health, wealth and all) requires you to turn back to God and stop your silly efforts to save yourself. Your strength will come from settling in complete dependence on God”. Those words shook me to the cores.
Why do we Christians leave God and look to man for help? Why do we let ourselves get distracted, side-tracked, waylaid by words spewed by man? By pictures, tweaking our imaginations and losing focus of our only true source, God.
Everything and all things are from him. He loves You, He loves Me, He loves Us. I won’t spit-shine things. It usually seems hard… waiting for these things He has promised.
But remember, when it comes (chai!!) it leaves a lasting mark in our lives. He doesn’t live in our timeline. He lives in Eternity. So in his time, things will happen. (Its a New Year. Let’s hold on to him)
My BFF (Best Friend Forever) said this to me and I’ll leave you to ponder on it. “Life is just a pot of beans… One day the beans will be cooked and ready to eat. But while it’s still cooking, don’t let anybody add the salt, pepper, fish, Cray-fish, onions and palm-oil for you. Add them yourself. And when it finally comes off as ready to eat, you can share with everybody (if you choose to) and not every contributor coming to take their share of your precious beans”.
But I say “Let God to cook your Beans”.
He knows how you like it.
– Written by Kishi
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